I am sitting on an airplane on my way to Bali, Indonesia for the first time (in this lifetime at least). Altogether, I’ll be traveling for approximately 24 hours. I am traveling alone. The seat next to me is empty, which makes me unreasonably gleeful. I have some friends in Bali, but all in all, this is a solo trip. My beloved is home, and boy was it difficult to leave his loving arms. But I knew I had to. Or should I say, I know I have to. For now.

Many have been asking why I am going to Bali. Is it for work? Is it for pleasure? In my world, work and pleasure are one. And that’s not because I am ‘lucky’ or ‘blessed’. I believe we all have an opportunity to be fortunate, by not only tuning into our intuition but honoring it, even when it seems illogical. By making choices that elevate our personal condition. By recognizing the immense value of accepting full responsibility for the creation and direction of our lives. Like a work of art. No one else can paint your picture. True fortune is not dependent on the exterior material world… it is an inner accolade. An inner treasure.

Would it be okay to say I am going because I am going? I am going because I desire to go? If there’s one thing I know for sure, this trip is not logical. It does not make sense in terms of timing, finances, work, etc. But I am still going. Consciously.

Have you ever felt a force greater than just your thinking mind at play? A gut churning sensation? In my opinion, the mind is basically a storehouse of memories of the past and anticipations for the future (which are somehow projections of past memories). But ‘now’ is never in the mind. Now is simply now, which eventually will become a memory and will be stored in the mind. It’s actually impossible to be in the ‘now’, because the moment you realize that ‘now’ has occurred, it has become the past. In fact, you will need to lose ‘you’ in order to be completely present.

Presence is so delicate, it’s quite challenging to talk about. It’s very simple and mysterious and almost invisible yet absolutely all there is. The ultimate paradox. Have you ever woken up and exclaimed, ‘Wow, it’s tomorrow!’ Of course not. It’s just today. Always. Yesterday and tomorrow only exist in the mind.

I bow to my meditation practice which has put me in touch with a force deeper than my mind. I am aware that this journey to Bali stems from deep intuition, and I was justified as tears streamed down my face the moment the airplane left the runway! Tears of some emotion I have never felt before. I was also listening to one of my favorite songs, Om Purnam, by Deva Premal. Perhaps that had something to do with it. ;-)

I spent the majority of my late teens and early twenties traveling different parts the world. Many of them were as far away from home as possible, yet familiar to my soul. It’s been nearly ten years since I took a trip by myself. For myself. Without any expectations. Without a plan, yet structured. Am I scared? You bet! That’s why I am going. I have learned that intuition and universal guidance are sometimes disguised as fear.

I credit my travels for shaping me into the person I am today. Not what my upbringing expected of me, not who my friends think I am, not who society sees me as, but who I actually am. Similar to discussing presence, trying to dissect and explain the ‘self’ is nearly impossible as it is a discovery you will have on your own… if you want it. If you don’t want it, you will not have it. And that is fine too. I am simply explaining what is possible in this human experience… or in mine, at least.

As a health professional, I firmly believe self-discovery is a crucial and somewhat underrated foundation of health. Understanding our authentic self allows our lives to move in the most fulfilling direction. It increases meaning and allows purpose to rise to the surface. In order to be able to serve from the fullness of our ‘personal love tank’, we must take care of and prioritize ourselves, not only physically and mentally. In fact, what blows your mind? Go there. What inspires you to the extent that you sense a vaguely familiar lightness stream throughout your entire body? What takes you out of your comfort zone? What makes your heart dance? You don’t necessarily need to get on an airplane to experience these life-altering and third eye-opening experiences. And you most definitely do not need a reason.

So that’s the big picture. And on a more grounded note, I do have some practical desires for this trip. One is to sharpen my meditation practice, restore myself in nature, absorb the spirituality of the sacred land, write an infinite number of poems that flow to me by the grace of the universe, and practice yoga with monkeys.

I look forward to sharing my journey with you. Namaste.

Shayna Hiller

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