The World Actually Does Revolve Around You
10 Reasons Being Selfish is Necessary
Growing up, I was inundated with the belief that selfishness was somehow inappropriate. If I were self-centered, I was automatically vain and ignorant of others’ needs. Due to this deeply ingrained mindset spurred on by my family, the media, and society, I subconsciously defaulted to chronic giving. In fact, when I was in Kindergarten, people used to ask me for money to buy supplies at the infamous ‘school store’. Despite my yearning for new erasers, I would open my palm full of quarters and dimes for my friends to reach in and grab. And there I was, eraser-less and broke. Throughout my early to teen years, my unwillingness to be selfish resulted in neglecting my body by feeding it unnatural foods. My passion for ‘selflessness’ led me to a promiscuous adolescence with an intense focus on pleasing the other regardless of how I was treated in return.
Mindfulness miraculously and timely crept its way into my life in my early twenties. I weighed sixty-seven pounds as a result of self-abandonment. Thanks to yoga and meditation, the whisper of awareness flooded my crumbling reality, and the final light bulb in my brain began flickering… ‘aha!’ And it was just that: an ‘aha’ moment. Ever have one of those? The moment reminded me of myself… my true self who I had been ignoring my entire life. The moment served as a gentle nudge in the direction of self-love. Ever since, I have been totally and utterly selfish, and life grows brighter every day.
Here are the ten reasons selfishness is necessary for good health:
10. It can help build sustainable relationships.
When we take time to learn more about ourselves, we become more whole and available for partnership. We are not only trying to please our partner but allowing ourselves to receive through being open, honest, and vulnerable. This leads to effective communication between intimate partners and, in turn, a healthy relationship.
9. You will find a healthy bodyweight.
If we are too busy tending to others without taking time to focus on ourselves, there’s a tendency to skip exercising or choose unhealthy convenient foods. Through selfishness, we prioritize physical activity and healthy eating. No one can do that for us.
8. You will be more attractive.
Whether or not you meditate, if you learn to embrace ‘alone time’, it will serve as a ‘charging of your life batteries’. We’ve all seen the frazzled look of someone whose ‘battery’ is about to die. A person who spends time with themselves will more likely feel more relaxed. This tranquil state inevitably translates to outer beauty.
7. You will feel more confident.
The more comfy you become in your own skin, the more confident you may find yourself in social situations. Confidence is attractive. Not to mention, you’re going to look hot because you’re taking time to exercise and eat well.
6. You will feel happy.
It’s difficult to be chronically sad when you take the time to remind yourself of your own brilliance. When you stop comparing yourself to others and start accepting and loving yourself, happiness will undoubtedly arise. This is the type of happiness that is not based on anything external. It is happiness that erupts organically from deep within.
5. You will find a career that you enjoy.
If I listened to what others’ expected of me in terms of career, I’d probably be working a job I hate. Due to selfishness, I am reminded of the right I have to choose a career path that serves my highest intention. Take a moment to contemplate what you would be doing differently if you remembered your right to choose for yourself.
4. You will be of service to others.
Perhaps it sounds paradoxical, but the more selfish you are, the more selfless you become. The more you charge your own life batteries, the more suited you are to be present with others’ needs. If we are expecting to help others at the sake of our own wellness, we may end up resenting others and behaving in unsupportive ways. In the long run, taking care of others at your own expense will do more harm than good.
3. Your sleep will improve.
Part of developing a self-care routine involves rest and relaxation. When we take time to eat appropriately and exercise in a way that works for our bodies, our natural sleep cycle returns. The less busy we are obsessively nurturing others and ignoring our bodies’ signals, the more attuned we will be to sensations such as exhaustion. Our bodies are pre-programmed to be in balance. Being selfish affords you the opportunity to re-set your nervous system and feel harmonious.
2. Your digestion will run smoothly.
If you haven’t already heard, most of the serotonin in your body is produced in your gut. Some scientists refer to the gut as the ‘second brain’. Serotonin is also known as the ‘feel good’ hormone. When we are operating under chronic stress, digestion becomes weakened. Weakened digestive systems are directly linked to a myriad of serious health issues. The more we take care of ourselves through nutrition, physical activity, and alone time, the more easily we will be able to assimilate and process that which we take in. Keep in mind, digestion of physical matter (food) is only a part of the digestive equation. Selfishness will lead to effortless absorption of all life interactions.
1. The world actually DOES revolve around you.
You are the creator of your own experience through the thoughts you think, the work you do in the world, the foods you eat, and the people you surround yourself with. The way in which you choose to perceive your reality is like a mirror. You will receive a clear and direct reflection of that which you choose to emit. For example, if you see the world as an ugly place, it will appear so. If you think the world is a beautiful place, you will feel immense gratitude and joy at the simple sight of a flower blooming in the spring. You have the power to create and re-create your reality on a moment-to-moment basis.