Who doesn’t love yoga pants? Women love wearing them, and men love watching women wearing them. There are so many incredible brands and styles of yoga pants, from solid colors to unique fun prints to high-waisted britches to zippers to mesh to lace to hidden pockets… you name it. It seems spandex are the new ‘pleated trouser’. Having graduated college with a fashion degree, as well as over analyzing ridiculous subjects such as yoga pants, I’ve come up with a list of why these slacks should steer clear of the yoga mat.

6. They’re damn expensive.

I don’t know about you, but I would rather not sweat profusely in $90 pants. Go to Target and get a pair of twenty dollar pedal pushers and perspire til the cows come home. Save those yoga pants for a night out with the girls.

5. They’re too tight.

Traditionally, yoga pants were extremely loose. If you go to India and ask for yoga pants, you ain’t gonna get no Lululemons. No… you’re going to get these:

Yoga pants need room in the crotch so you can sit in lotus pose and meditate. Duh.

4. Underwear issues.

Self explanatory. But for real. Is it even possible to wear underwear under yoga pants? And if you think doing yoga in a thong underneath your spandex is an enjoyable experience, think again. Actually, that one doesn’t require thinking.

3. Camel Toe.

This goes along with the underwear segment. It’s just rough.

2. They’re too nice.

A lot of the cutting edge brands of yoga pants on the market are so well made and flattering, I would rather slip on a stiletto and wear them to happy hour than overstretch them in Hanumanasana.

1. They distract men.

Ladies, we wouldn’t want the guys falling out of tree pose because they are too busy observing our hip hugging knickers, now would we? Out of respect, it seems we should resort to looser fitting pants so everyone can remain in their state of Dharana.

P.S. This article is meant to be a joke. I wear tight yoga pants to yoga daily, and I’m obsessed with them.