As you may or may not know, despite my steady involvement in all things social media, I am a pretty private person when it comes to relationships. As a public figure, I feel it’s important to create boundaries and maintain privacy in certain areas of my life.

Despite my commitment to keep my personal life discrete, I have had a yearning for quite some time to share some important information for men. Over the past five years, I have dated more men than you can count on your hands and feet combined. When I say date, I mean ‘date’, as in ‘go out on a date’. Once. Maybe twice. ‘Why once?’, you ask. Because I get bored. Because many men are predictable and uneducated in the field of dating and relationships. Because of a lack of authenticity and self understanding.

Regardless of my disappointment and secret desire to spend time alone rather than go out on more dates, I went out on even more dates. The reason for this is because I became extremely interested in observing the nature of men in their relating to women. Everything from body language to actual language to topics of conversation to eye contact to actions around intimacy became a hobby for me. Don’t get me wrong, I had a wonderful time with many of these people. I tend to attract pretty solid guys, but alas, something was always lacking when it came to taking these relationships out of the restaurant and into the bedroom.

I don’t care if you have money, a six pack, a dog, or a Tesla (okay fine, if you have a Tesla you’re exempt). If you do not have what every woman NEEDS, your potentially foreseen relationship just won’t work. It’s as simple as that.

Many of the men I dated are incredibly intelligent, well traveled, articulate, handsome, and giving. Again, this doesn’t matter if your essence is not involved in your interaction with women. It’s just fluff, and it’s ultimately not important.

I am not suggesting you compromise you who are in order to get what you want. Instead, I am proposing you discover who you really are in order to get MORE than you have ever imagined possible.

If it is sex you desire, you will get more if it if you follow my guidance. If it is a long term relationship you crave, you’ll receive that if you open your mind to a new way of being in relationship. If you simply want to go on one date or attract more women in to your life, my method is fool proof. I don’t care if you think you’re ugly, bald, or fat either. What I will teach you overrides all of your external qualities. And you an cultivate it just as you are. TRUST ME. Actually, no. TRUST YOU!

Over the next few months, I will finally be sharing more information with you that I’ve gathered over the years. This is such an important topic with so many conflicting theories, and it’s time to get clear on how simple it is to attract women. Take it from me. Or take it from a male. Your choice. It seems pretty obvious that a woman’s opinion is like pure gold in this situation. That’s the missing link, and I’m here to support you.

For now, I want you to know the three things NOT to do when seeking love:

1. Don’t be nice to her.

Let me explain. So throughout my many dating experiences, often a man would come to pick me up at my apartment and treat me to a nice dinner. I definitely enjoy and appreciate a good old wine and dine; it’s not about that. What I noticed often is that men are totally putting on a show and being over the top nice. Come on—I know you don’t actually want to get out of your car and walk around and open the door for me. And if you do, fine, but I don’t believe you. Just relax and try not to be so uptight. Unbutton your shirt a little. I notice many men are nervous, in which case they hide their nervousness through excessive ‘niceness’. I’m not suggesting you be ‘not nice’. I’m suggesting you be REAL. I’m just a girl. Nothing to be afraid of.

2. Don’t wait to text her.

I happen to have a lot of friends who are professional dating coaches, and one of the most talked about subjects is ‘how long to wait before texting someone after a date’. Really? Is it a game now? If you enjoy your time with the person you are dating, let them know! Don’t wait. Life is too short to wait to text someone. On that note, calling can wait. Just text. Keep it simple. It’s cute and it let’s the person know you care. Wow! Communication! No games! Who would’ve thunk? Oh, also, she will be more likely to wanna get down and dirty if she knows how you feel. So text it up if you wanna sex it up (yes, I did go there).

3. Don’t talk about yourself. Too much.

Believe it or not, getting to know a person has less to do with knowing what they have done in their lives, etc., as it has to do with really getting to ‘feel’ a person. Chemistry is real. Just think about how it feels when someone talks about themselves the entire time? Many times on dates, I found myself sitting in utter silence (which I actually don’t mind, but many people do) for the entire duration of our date. I would be completely done with my meal, and he hadn’t even started yet because he was too busy telling me about his crazy ex-girlfriend. Not sexy. At all. I happen to love learning about people, but I prefer talking with people as opposed to being talked at. Ask questions. Yearn for a balanced exchange. Also, learn to be okay with silence. Feel each other’s energy at times. Less talk, more time for touch. Duh! And for God’s sake, chew with your mouth closed.

Stay tuned for more life changing goodness from the ‘Men’s Room’. For now, let’s stay connected. Sign up for my newsletter below to receive more details about how I can help you attract the woman of your dreams and live a happier healthier life.

Shayna Hiller

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