The Dangers of Being FEARLESS
I recently bought a shirt with the word ‘FEARLESS’ in big bold letters across the chest. The shirt is cute and sexy, and apparently the same goes for the idea of fearlessness. But that’s just it. Is being free of fear something other than an idea? Can it actually be a reality? And if it were… if I had no fear at all, would that serve me?
I believe a fearless life is not a life at all. A life free of fear is an illusion. It is a detachment from reality. The issue of fear is not to make fear go away but rather to learn to understand it and use it for our own personal growth. If we do not have fears, we cannot grow. And if we think we do not have fears, we must re-consider…
I used to believe I had no fears at all. Having done a tremendous amount of work on my health and wellbeing, I was adamant I had conquered all of my inner ‘demons’. Ahhh, what a sweet creation my clever mind so elegantly constructed. All of that came tumbling down when I entered into my first serious relationship after many years single and sporadically dating. Fears ‘spontaneously’ arose from the depths of my subconscious regarding topics such as: intimacy, clear communication, boundaries, freedom, and self worth.
‘Who am I to show my fear?’ I thought to myself. ‘I’m not supposed to be carrying this around anymore. I’m a yogi.’ My judgmental self-talk and fear of judgment from others was highly toxic, and I eventually discovered that these fears are actually my greatest teachers. They are what keep me going and growing. I consciously made the choice not to be a slave or a victim to my fears, but instead to lean into them with a sense of curiosity. We must be willing to expose ourselves fully and authentically if we want to receive life fully.
Our culture emphasizes a mental constipation of sorts. The subtle message hiding behind the accepted goal of fearlessness is, ‘Bury that shit deep within you. Don’t let your humanness show.’ Eventually, holding back and putting on the happy-face mask day in and day out will turn unto a lack of ‘ease’ in the body… quite literally, ‘dis-ease’. That’s what’s happening all around. So many emotions are stored inside and causing inflammation on the physical level. Our emotional health and physical health are not separate. They are, in fact, one in the same.
Society urges us to hold back sadness and tears as if they are not as sacred and meaningful as laughter and joy. I say, ‘Celebrate it all.’ Show up fully for your life. Explore that which you resist with an open mind. Go deeper into it. It is only when we pass directly through our fears that we discover more of who we are at our core.
Fearlessness is not only dangerous but impossible. It does not and cannot exist. To be human is to be fearful. Full of fear. Full of opportunities to grow. I encourage you to imagine your life is one gigantic obstacle course. And trust that you are never faced with a hurdle too high to jump over. On the other side of the hurdle lies your deepest desire. Your alive-ness. Your bliss. That ecstasy cannot come from someone else or somewhere else. It can only be birthed from deep within yourself. And it is yours forever.