5 Reasons You Should Do The Things You’re Scared Of…

Fear comes in many forms. I used to think {fear = fluffy tarantula crawling up my leg}… that type of fear… or the type of fear I used to feel when watching the movie Scream as a teenager (holy nightmares). Fear of that nature is only one representation of the vast landscape of fear. If you are crossing the street and suddenly a snake appears in your path, your body will automatically jump into fight or flight mode and you will react and perhaps even feel a rush of adrenaline. This type of fear is beneficial and important for your survival. Other types of fear, however, are not. They are mind-based, and oftentimes they are made up. Hear me out…

As I list the ten reasons you should do things you are afraid of, I’m not suggesting you should become friends with venomous spiders or step on the snake in your path. Be sensible and realistic. I am encouraging you to look deeply into some of the mental blocks you may be experiencing… areas of your life that feel ‘stuck’ or stagnant. Outdated belief systems that only seem to propel a familiar and less-than-ecstatic day to day existence. Not expressing ourselves fully out of concern for others’ reactions to our unique true nature. Not taking risks. Thinking we don’t deserve to live our dreams. That type of fear. The limits we put on ourselves that keep us in darkness instead of light…

Here are the 5 reasons you should do the things you’re scared of…

5. So your fear goes away! (duh)

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.’ – A Wise Person

I’m not sure if that’s an actual quote or if I made it up or if it was Buddha, but regardless, it’s true. Oftentimes we think we fear something and that fear is simply because we have not yet experienced ‘that thing’. Whether it’s opening our heart to a new relationship, starting that business we’ve been feeling intuitively guided to create, starting yoga, traveling to a new destination. In fact, many people fear death and I personally feel that fear is a misrepresentation for this very reason. We simply have not experienced it; or if we have, for those of you who believe in many lives, then perhaps we’ve simply forgotten. So we basically fear the unknown. So why do we have to let fear stop us? If it’s unknown and there is fear, then why not make it known so fear can disappear? Hey, that rhymes! :-)

4. You will start leaking confidence

Literally. The more you consciously step towards your fears, you automatically give them less power and therefore conserve your own energy. This energy translates into strength, courage and confidence. For example, I used to have a fear of intimacy. It was difficult for me to connect intimately and I preferred being alone. In fact, I decided to be celibate for the majority 0f my 20s which was a coverup for my deep fear of being with a partner and being vulnerable in that setting. In order to heal this, I realized something needed to change. After years of working with this, I finally chose to move directly into exactly what I was resisting. And let me just say, I would not be who I am today if I hadn’t embraced and experienced that fear. That old fear is not only no longer a fear, but now I teach people about intimacy and relationships! Magic, you ask? Yes, precisely!

3. You’ll realize it was a lie (and therefore sigh with great relief)

One of my favorite quotes from Osho:

‘The Mind Makes a Faithful Servant but a Dangerous Master…’

Our minds are phenomenal and vital tools in the toolbox of life. Without my mind, I wouldn’t be able to write this blog and you wouldn’t be able to comprehend and receive it. It’s important to understand the mind though so it doesn’t try to rule us. Fear is typically based on the past or the future… usually both. It’s impossible to be in a state of fear while in the present moment. Please contemplate this. Fear only exists in the mind. So is it even real? Is it tangible? Can you touch it? Perhaps it has a sensation in the body, like nervousness or tingling or elevated heart rate… but can’t those sensations be elements of excitement and joy as well? And is that actually ‘fear’ you are feeling, or simply a product of entertaining certain thoughts about a ‘supposed fear’?

Fear exists usually in relationship to something that happened in the past and I project that scenario into the future. For example, if I got stuck in an elevator as a child, that traumatic experience will stay with me until I am a grown up. If I do not take the leap and face my fear of going into elevators, I may end up scared of and avoiding elevators forever. Just because I got stuck when I was a kid doesn’t mean I would get stuck again, and if I did, the truth is, I SURVIVED, so I probably will survive again too. Please read this carefully! Even if experiences in the past have propelled your current fears, remember that YOU ARE HERE NOW… and whatsoever has happened in your life history, you’ve survived to the point that you can be reading this at this very moment. So if I had to share my two cents about you moving into your fear, I’d say you’ll be fine.

There’s an acronym you may have heard which I love and am reminded of its profound truth each time I revisit it:

F(alse). E(vidence). A(ppearing). R(eal).

The moment you face your fear, the fear disappears and something else emerges… that something else can not be described in words; only felt deeply in your being. It is a direct result of acting despite mental resistance. It is the product of following your truest intuition and deepest inner knowing of what step needs to be taken right now…

2. You actually want it (badly)

Please take a moment and consider the fears you have. Switching careers? Starting a new relationship? Ending a current relationship? Learning a new skill?

Whatever it is, what I’ve noticed time and time again is that directly alongside our fear is actually our deepest desire. In my personal journey, I didn’t give myself enough credit to consider that I was capable and deserving to receive the things I actually wanted in my life. Instead, I gave my power away to doubt and worry and ‘what-ifs’. All of those clogged my mind and created a layer of fog that prevented me from seeing the sun shining directly behind it.

Another component of this lies in the good old comfort zone (which, as we all know, is actually not so damn comfortable!!!) The same old, same old, subscribing to the normal and not so inspiring way of life. I’m in no way judging having routine. I am a routine-a-holic and believe it’s crucial for our health to have rituals and structure and a sense of being grounded. However, if your daily routine is feeling boring or if you are feeling depressed, hopeless, stuck, tired or isolated, it may be time to do something you’ve never done. This experience will reveal a new you, which can be scary OR it can be tremendously thrilling and life-enhancing. You choose. :-)

  1. Why not?

Seriously. What is the worst thing that can happen? I know people commonly throw this phrase around, but let’s examine it a bit more deeply for a moment. What is the worst thing that can actually happen to you if you are to take that leap, that chance? What are you really afraid of? From my experience, I’d say the results of stepping into fear happen to reveal our greatest breakthroughs and positive growth in our lives. On the other side of fear is freedom.

Oftentimes we are either afraid of other people judging us negatively or we are afraid of being alone.

When we consider loving ourselves first, we again reclaim our power. When we choose to put less emphasis on what other people think or the possibility of failure, we re-direct our energy to what we want to create and move towards. Try to view the ‘unknown’ as a beautiful mystery instead of something that must be figured out. Life is a journey, and the truth is we do not what will happen in the next moment. That is what makes life precious and meaningful. There is nothing to fear, only to be lived and experienced.

Spending time alone in nature is a wonderful reminder that you are very much a part of this Universe. The trees are supporting your life by providing oxygen. The sun is giving you energy and heat. You are exchanging carbon dioxide with the plants. Your heart is beating by itself. Your breath is breathing by itself. You are supported. Everything is connected. Just like a fluffy tarantula’s web. You are never alone.

If you enjoyed this article and are feeling guided to take the leap into your next chapter, you are invited to my annual COSTA RICA retreat at Blue Spirit. I look forward to guiding you on this life-changing journey in paradise! Please reach out with any questions to [email protected]

If not now, when?

Check out what some people have shared after attending my recent retreat to Bali… and let me tell you, these are some brave souls who trusted their deepest intuition and attended retreat… many having never been on a retreat in their lives!




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